“I hate when people confuse education with intelligence,
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you can have a bachelor’s degree and still be an idiot”.
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~ Elon Musk
How many people have you worked with or met, that had a low RQ?
What is your RQ?
How to calculate your RQ, has not been standardized. Nonetheless, it can be calculated in multiple, materially-accurate ways. Thus; maybe you won’t be able to precisely calculate your RQ, but on a scale of 0.0 to 10.0, if you’re:
- 8.5+— You’re High
- 6.5 to 8.4 — You’re Above Average
- 3.5 to 6.4 — You’re Average
RQ is critically important, while having more facets than an eloquently cut diamond…both professionally and personally! If your RQ is too low professionally, you’ll need to pursue a new career path. If your RQ is too low personally, the most important relationships will either walk out of your life; or, you will, mistakenly escort the best ones out of your life (while justifying and genuinely believing, your rationale was solid for doing so).
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RQ is not an independent competency-set. It’s a subset under Holistic-DMQ. We use our Holistic-DMQ to determine (subjectively) our RQ level, determine how to improve our RQ and decide how to surround ourselves with an Inner-Circle that facilitates increasing our RQ. Thus; RQ has the potential to lead us to Windows of Amazing, once we first, make Amazing decisions. Windows of Time are critical in the DMQ Process, since nothing lasts forever, so love each Window of Amazing when you can… and pray that it stays open a long time!
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Major Challenge: Just as Holistic-DMQ (Decision Making Quality) is a two-way street, most definitely, so is RQ. Thus; you can do what you believe is “everything right”, but if your RQ is objectively too low; or, if you actually did “everything almost right”, but the other person’s RQ is objectively too low, then the relationship will naturally find a way to end. The two keys are, 1) Hyper-Appreciation; and, 2) the Appreciation Accounting methods used in the professional or personal relationship (another blog topic).
In coaching clients on this topic, it takes much time, patience, failure and practice to elevate your RQ. The biggest hurdle for most people in developing their RQ… understanding that it’s about others… not you! Yes… it’s about that rare, elusive thing… unconditional love. If they don’t make you a priority; then, they don’t understand nor appreciate you. Key: objectively developing both of your RQ’s… because both of you… believe it’s worth it.
So… why do some relationships excel while others sputter, before eventually ending? More importantly, how do you determine if you are the one with the lower RQ in the relationship… which leads to the eventual demise of the relationship? (Reminder: Holistic-DMQ, first and foremost is used to determine if you should be in or should stay in a professional or personal relationship.)
Here’s a non-exhaustive list, of challenges that naturally provide opportunities for people to elevate their RQ. The more you have, coupled with the more (objectively) successful you’ve been with each, the more likely your RQ is higher.
- Demanding, But Respectful and Encouraging Parents: They’re tough to get along with, but getting along with difficult people is a competency that’s needed your entire adult life.
- Challenging Teachers and Professors: You’ll learn the most from the tougher ones, who can be unreasonable at times. They inadvertently or intentionally, teach you how to cope with failure, surviving while being professionally bullied and so many other things.
- Roommates Early in Life: Many are PIA’s; thus, a wonderful training environment for developing your RQ.
- Military Experience: Does this even need to be explained on why it helps develop one’s RQ?
- Demanding, But Professional Manager(s): Is there one or two that were exceptional in helping you develop your RQ? My first boss / mentor out of college, surprisingly loved me, but you wouldn’t know it from our “professionally heated discussions”. The #1 question I received from everyone, “how do you work with him”? We had a similar relationship to that of Tom Brady and Julian Edelman of the Patriots … “he (Tom Brady) yelled at me because he loved me!”, Julian Edelman. I never had a more comprehensively talented leader, the rest of my career.
- Children: The depth of understanding about unconditional love for another human being, as learned from raising children, can not be communicated in words. This unconditional love can be seamlessly cascaded into personal relationships, but also into professional relationships.
Is it impossible to develop RQ in this area, without having children? Rarely, but yes. If you’ve ever been in a personal relationship, with someone who’s never had children, take a very close look at the depth and breadth of their unconditional love, resiliency in the relationship and ability to genuinely work through difficult situations. Not having children, doesn’t by any means, make them a bad person. However, don’t be surprised, when you hit even the tiniest bit of rough waters, the boat / relationship capsizes. Again, everyone’s different. Personally, I’ve observed 3 levels of RQ development in this area; the ones with children, the ones without children but want children and the ones without children and never wanted children.
- Marriage (even if you were divorced): The list is long, deep and wide on how marriage either helps to develop your RQ, or lack of it, helps separate you in 7 years or less. Personally, my marriage lasted 20 years (and we had 3 children), was mostly great and RQ was a critically important competency that my Ex was remarkably talented.
- Various Relationships: Typically one of two things happens. One (the rarest of the two); the two of you will develop your RQ’s together and both of you have materially-the-same RQ (currently) as well as similar RQ-Potential (ceilings). The second thing and what is more likely to happen, you’ll pursue relationships in which you find affirmation aligned with your RQ’s. Thus; you’ll get along well because you have similar RQ levels, regardless of how High or Low, your RQ levels (e.g. “Average” and “Average”), as long as they are materially-equal.
- Coaching: This is not a cure-all. Coaching can only help you close the gap between your current RQ and your RQ-Potential (ceiling). However; moving from a 7.0 to an 8.5, for example, is a major step forward, that will provide bountiful benefits to you in your career and more importantly, in life!
So… what is your current RQ?
And… what is your RQ-Potential?
Is it worth the effort… for you to get better?
Are you a High-RQ Leader… looking to make a Significant Social Impact in other people’s lives?
Would you like to create $1+ Million for each of Your Favorite Non-Profits… in less than 20 hours per year?
DM me on LinkedIn or directly (jim.roncevich@ipgsocialimpact.com).
Who changes the world? I believe it’s almost exclusively the Top-7%. They are the only ones with the Talent Portfolios and social consciences needed to actually implement significant positive social impact.
If you believe you’re one of these executives, we’d love to explore possible opportunities.
Get MAD! Get Making A Difference! ~ JR
